Love and Growing Old
Aging often brings a heightened sense of perspective. Work and career pressures typically recede, children grow up and become independent, and many of the responsibilities that once seemed urgent begin to fall away. Yet, for some, there is also a sense of finality—an assumption that certain doors are closed for good. Barry Long, in his talk delivered in Bristol in August 1991, speaks to this.
Addressing a large audience, he speaks about the freedom, possibility, and richness that remain available at every stage of life – he addresses those who are growing older, especially women, informing them on how to remain open to love, regardless of age or past experiences. He acknowledges that many may feel content without a partner and even find the idea of relationship burdensome. Nonetheless, he emphasizes that if love — or the possibility of a good, honest partnership — presents itself, one should be receptive and that age is no barrier to intimacy or genuine connection when it arises naturally.
Central to Barry’s message is the need to be at peace within oneself, cultivating a sense of well-being and integrity in every aspect of life. By getting one’s life right and releasing emotional states such as fear, resentment, or longing, we create the internal space for the right person to appear — at the right time and under the right circumstances. He cautions against living in a state of restless yearning; instead, trusting that when love is meant to come, it will, and it will arrive as part of life’s inherent goodness.
LANGUAGE: English
YEAR RECORDED: 1991
PLACE RECORDED: Bristol, UK
DURATION: 1 hours and 10 minutes
EPISODE NOTES
This is the second of four talks from Barry Long’s 'Truth of Love Seminar,' originally recorded in Bristol in 1991—over three decades ago.
In this episode Barry Long addresses those who are growing older — especially women — urging them to remain open to love, regardless of age or past experiences. He acknowledges that many in their fifties, sixties, or seventies may feel content without a partner and even find the idea of relationship burdensome. Nonetheless, he emphasizes that if love — or the possibility of a good, honest partnership—presents itself, one should be receptive and that age is no barrier to intimacy or genuine connection when it arises naturally and without force.
Central to Barry’s message is the need to be at peace within oneself, cultivating a sense of well-being and integrity in every aspect of life. By getting one’s life right and releasing emotional states such as fear, resentment, or longing, we create the internal space for the right person to appear — at the right time and under the right circumstances. He cautions against living in a state of restless yearning; instead, trusting that when love is meant to come, it will, and it will arrive as part of life’s inherent goodness.
Highlights and extracts
"Life is its own solution. Life is not perverse. Although we often think it is. Life is a process, a wonderful process of integrity. There is justice and rightness in life. As long as we can stand back far enough and observe it. The difficulty is with personal love, that it makes us put our eyes right up close to the scene, and we can't see the total picture."
"Be open all your life for the possibility of love coming in as man or woman, no matter how old you are. And be open even to the possibility of making love, no matter how old you are. You don't have to make love – you are free. But don't have an attitude against it. Don't ever think that you're too old. It is not true. You are never too old to stop making physical love. Given that the man or woman arrives and you are drawn together you are never too old to make physical love."
"Don't be disappointed. Don't be discouraged by anything that has happened in your life. It was your lot. Everything that happened to you was absolutely right, and it was to make a finer a man or a finer a woman of you."
What is love?