Bringing Your Divine Partner into Existence: The Secret to Perfect Love
In this episode, Barry describes the journey from attachment to detachment. He explains that while the beauty of existence — in flowers, the sea, and human love — is real and wondrous, it is attachment to form that causes suffering. Living the spiritual life leads to living the life divine — a state that occurs when one ceases to live from the self, and a greater intelligence begins to live through one. As this unfolds, true union — free of possession — becomes possible, and one draws to oneself one’s perfect mate. Barry says – "...your whole life is about bringing her or him into existence. Not someone outside you. Not a dream. But the true woman, the true man, the divine principle behind the body. And no one else can do it for you. You must live, love, and surrender enough for your true mate to be made real in your life."
Barry goes on to describe the nature of the self: a band within the psyche where emotions and attachments dwell. He says that human suffering arises from being possessed by negative emotions rooted in the psychic realm, accumulated over generations. By acknowledging the good in life, loving purely without attachment, and surrendering the selfish will, individuals gradually illuminate their perfect body — a deeper, divine something within the psyche. The true purpose of life, Barry says, is to light up this perfect body through love and detachment, by undergoing the circumstances of one’s life rightly — by suffering rightly. In time, a moment comes when suffering is no longer needed, when the self falls away and the psyche stands purified — and what is is the life divine.
LANGUAGE: English
YEAR RECORDED: 2000
PLACE RECORDED: Coolangatta, Gold Coast, Australia
DURATION: 1 hours and 19 minutes
EPISODE NOTES
This talk is Session 3 of 6 from a three-day meeting recorded on the 14th of May, 2000 in Coolangatta, Gold Coast, Australia. These materials were recently digitized and modernized from older recording formats after an extensive restoration process, and we are happy to offer them freely. The complete audio recordings from this meeting set will be made available later in the year in the subscriber-only podcast through Apple Podcast – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-barry-long-podcast/id1709595005 and Spotify – https://open.spotify.com/show/34rcMFK6b4CcicY7JDxo9f
Extracts:
"The first sign of the true love coming into existence is that you never, ever want to be apart. You never want to go anywhere alone, unless you have to, of course. Always together. Always. But if you want to go and be alone — if you want to go down to the football club or have a night out with the girls — well, you’ve got some time to keep going until you bring this extraordinary principle of woman or man into existence in a body."
"If you are a man, she will give you hell — she will break your heart, she will put you in impossible situations just to make you surrender, to give up your will-fulness, for you to become pliant, flexible, nonexistent... But it is not the woman herself — it is the principle in her, the principle of Eve, the principle of God."
"When you're next angry, do you see that you're being manipulated? This is what we are talking about — starting to live the spiritual life — when you can see that your anger, your resentment, your negativity is not love but possession. Until you desist from being identified with these emotions, until you are purified of them, you cannot truly love or bring the perfect love into existence."
"Look at these beautiful flowers — the colours, the fragrance, the beauty of them. It’s quite extraordinary, isn’t it? But they are not real. You see it’s because we get attached to the beauty we see that we suffer. If you get attached to the beauty of your garden, to the wonder of the sea, or to any experience — you are going to suffer or know pain."
"The spiritual life is meant to bring you into the life divine — when the unknown, the real, something beyond naming, lives your life through you. Then you are no longer making decisions. You are in Paradise, wherever you are. Everything is provided. You still act, but it is not you who acts; it is done through you."
"There is a band just inside your body — the psyche — where your feelings arise. This is where rage, jealousy, and self-doubt come from. It is not your body, but it manipulates your life. Most of humanity is ruled by this psychic realm, possessed by negative emotions without knowing it. To live the spiritual life is to see this manipulation and begin to free yourself from it."
Further reading
📄 "Shakti" – https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/259/shakti – "Shakti is the power of divine love waiting to enter woman and come through her to man..."
📄 "Original Tantra" – https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/257/original-tantra
📄 "Love Is Not A Feeling" – https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/253/love-is-not-a-feeling-%E2%80%93-article
📄 "No More Negativity!" – https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/235/no-more-negativity
📄 "Love Burns" – https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/223/love-burns – "You must not lose yourself in love or you’ll suffer for nothing, like most do, when the object of love departs in time, as it must..."
Talks from Tamborine Mountain, 1990, December